AMPUTATION:
Women face many challenges in the course of their lives.
Puberty, marriage, birth of children and death. For most of us, we go from
these challenges with a better understanding of ourselves. With the onset of
puberty comes the knowledge we have finally moved from childhood to womanhood.
Our dreams change from Barbie dolls to wedding bells, a career and
children.
For most of us, our lives continue on uneventful. We live, we
watch those around us grow and we also watch some of them die. But through it
all, we know who we are. We're strong-willed as our ancestors had to be, we're
structured, we know what we want out of life and go for the brass ring, because
we're women.
In some cultures, it's the women who hold the wealth of the
family, for single mothers it's them who hold the family together. Career women
fight to make it to the top of their field, to wield a sword as a man might.
Every day women make a mark in this world, and for most, that mark goes
unnoticed. Through every single challenge a woman faces, she faces it as who she
is, who she's become. From a Congresswoman to a waitress, we meet each days
challenge because we know deep inside, we've a rare yet accomplished
person.....we're a woman.
But now you're being asked to face a challenge
you feel in your heart you'll never win. As an amputee. I was faced with this
obstacle in December, 1999. I wish I could speak out for all women amputees, but
I can't. I can only speak for those who have lost a leg. Though, I hope the
inspiration and courage here will help you move on to the next step of returning
to who you are.....a woman.
My first thought after surgery was "I'm not
whole anymore". What a terrifying thought that was! The fear that gripped my
heart and soul was as intense as the pain I was in. I wasn't
whole! To make matters worse, I would never be whole again and I
wasn't prepared for that kind of finality.
We've put ourselves on a
plate, a plate that has its roots in centuries of 'what a woman is...', 'what is
expected of a woman'..., and worse yet....'what a woman is suppose to look
like'. Today's models tell us what we should wear, what lipstick is the best and
what haircut is in style. It's horrible to think we've created for ourselves
what we now dread the most. Large or petite, we're placed in categories of
acceptance or rejection. And with those centuries behind this image, we're
unlikely to be removed unless we do the moving.
As women we must face
the crisis and make it work for each of us. We're all individuals and each one
different. What may work for one woman amputee, may not be the same for the
next. Age, acceptance of what we are now, who we are will either bring us back
to being the woman we were meant to be, or label us as incomplete.
I've
found out in the past year and half, I have what it takes to make the claim, 'I
am a woman'. Why? Because I overcame the greatest obstacle in my life, and I'm a
better person for it. It wasn't done without mountains of tears, days of
depression and painful hospitalizations. It wasn't done overnight either. It's
taken a year and half to get to this point in my life where I can say about
tomorrow, "Bring it on!". I had days where all I could do was cry and feel sorry
for myself. I had 3 painful revisions on my stump, and I hated the world around
me because of it.
But once more 'woman prevails'. It's because we are
woman, a spiritual connection, a kind of kinship to each other that makes us
special. The road that has been chosen for us isn't an easy one, but with
family, friends, support groups and each other, we'll be recognized for being a
'woman', not just a 'woman amputee'.