Don't become obsessed with being an amputee. I know that sounds
odd, but it is something to think about. When family and friends visit, try to
guide the subject away from 'you' and onto something else. Of course, being an
amputee can be time and attention consuming, but the sooner you can return to
your pre-surgery life style, the better it is for you.
Share your
triumphs with family and friends. When I got my first prosthesis, the only
person who didn't know about it was the President of the United States. I did,
of course, let everyone else know.:-)
You NEVER have a 'failure', it's
only a 'SET BACK'....I hate the word failure, because in my vocabulary there is
no such word. When I had to have 3 seperate revisions done on my stump, my
husband kept telling me, "it's only a set back"...and it helped to have him tell
me that. He taught me with those words to not let the 'set backs' take over my
way of thinking.
You have to remember, not everyone is going to know
about your amputation. You won't be taking out an ad in the newspaper about it,
so you may run across someone at sometime who's going to be shocked or surprised
when they see you. Be patient with them, and in turn you'll most likely gain a
new source of support.
And what about those 'stares'??? Yes, you'll be
faced with them a lot. I wasn't upset about my appearance as an amputee, so I
rarely noticed the 'lookie-loos'....it was my husband and son who noticed them
more than I did. I've found that when you catch someone staring at you, they are
more than likely staring 'down' at your leg and then they look you in the eye.
It's when you look back and smile that they are suddenly embarrassed about being
caught staring. Don't hold it against them, it's their lack of knowledge that
makes them stare.
Children, heaven bless them! They are the embodiment of
curiosity, questions and pure joy. I've never had a child turn away suddenly
when I looked back, or afraid of me (I can't say that about adults). If a child
asks you a question, please be tolerant and answer them. It's a great way of
educating a child as well. You
can be sure that their parent will be mortified, but that's alright. Let them
know you don't mind their childs questions. I actually had a 3 year old look at
me one time and then look down at where my foot should have been and ask me
"where's your other shoe?". I had to laugh and everyone around laughed too
because it was a childs perception. Her mother could have crawled into a hole,
but I reassured her I didn't mind the question.
Remember, you are in
charge of your care!!! If you don't care for ANY of your health care providers,
find another. It's that simple!
If you are on a walker or crutches,
'safe-proof' your home. Rugs, cords, telphone cords, etc. should be out of your
path of walking.
If you use a shower stool in the tub, make sure it is
stable before you sit down or get out of the tub. It might be a good idea to
install slip protectors in the tub or use a non-skid tub mat. If necessary,
install grab bars in the shower.
Never walk around without foot
protection on your sound leg. Don't wear just a sock on it, wear something
supportive and non-skid. The last thing you want to do is slip and hurt your
'good' leg.
Issues you MUST be aware of:
FACT: Not everyone involved in your amputation "circle" has your best interests at heart. Do not assume that just because they are in the medical or prosthetic industry, they are benign or competent.
The first issue is one of hacks, or incompetents, in the prosthetic industry. They are usually prosthetists only in it for the money. They are the ones that will give you a crappy product and not give a damn.
Then there are the ego freaks. The ones who have a psychological need to be in a position of authority over another human being. They gravitate to the disability community because they see us as easily dominated. These prosthetists bristle at the thought that they should be questioned about their credentials, experience or methods of practice. They are also the ones who insist on referring to the amputee as their patients even after being told it is offensive. If your prosthetist refuses to address you in a manner that is acceptable to you, FIND ANOTHER one. And that brings me to the biggest issue of all.
While some may question the inclusion of this subject here, as an amputee, I feel that it would be negligent of me not to include it. (I've never dealt with the issuse myself.)
The issue is devotees. More specifically, devotees who are also prosthetists, orthopedic surgeons or technicians. (See Devotees)
A devotee is a person who is sexually attracted to, or stimulated by the residual limb (or stump) of an amputee.
They are often found in the medical community and many have openly admitted to finding work in prosthetic clinics and orthopedic surgery areas in order to further their chances of seeing, photographing and/or touching an amputee's residual limb or locating and following an unsuspecting amputee.