Return to Article Index

You're Not Alone!
by LadyAmp

Although definitive statistics about limb loss are hard to come by, there is considerable evidence that:   *

 * Information: Amputee Coalition of America

Though these statistics are scarey, the reason for mentioning this, other than to help satisfy whatever curiosity you might have about how you fit in, is to illustrate that there are many like us out there. Despite the fact that you may not remember seeing any amputees, the chances are you have seen many and simply haven't noticed either because you weren't looking for them or they used prostheses and just weren't noticeable. You really are a member of a rather large group. The important thing to remember is that thousands of people who are also members of the group lead happy, productive lives and you can too.

Going home - Going home may be the most stressful experience you'll face after the amputation. You've been in a hospital, a protected environment for some time. You've had physicians, nurses, therapies around to assist you, give you pointers and overall, aide you in the transition you're about to face. There you've had the protection of them in the event you had to go the bathroom, were in pain, in the event you fell, you knew they were there to help you out. There was always activity and you probably didn't have too much time to think about your situation while you were in the hospital. You had people to take care of you. Your day was highly planned. Your meals were brought to you.

Now you are home and it suddenly becomes painfully clear that you are now on your own. I can remember sitting in the car in the front of our house, dreading the thought of having to hop on one foot with my walker through the garage, through the laundry room, down a hall to the living room and knowing once I got through those obstacles, I had to face the rest of day. I had hounded my doctor to let me go home, promising I was ready and able to face anything. But sitting there in the driveway, I was ready to go back to the hospital where I felt safe.

Going home may feel like a step backward, but in reality it's a step toward healing. Not to say you don't have doubts, because you will! You may feel there is no one to take care of you. Your days are not planned. You now have a lot of time to think about your situation. What will you do? Who will take care of you? How will you do the things you have to do? How will you cope? You may suddenly feel quite disabled.

If you have family or friends that can assist you, don't hesitate to call on them. They will probably be delighted to be able to help. If you are reluctant to ask for help, ask for it anyway. Just tell yourself that it's only for a short time and you'll learn how to take care of yourself soon.

If you don't have family or friends to take care of you in these early days, make sure before you leave the hospital that you find out from the hospital social worker what community resources are available to help you. If a social worker doesn't come to you while you're in the hospital, demand to see one. If the one who comes doesn't seem to know the answers to your questions, demand to see another one. This time in your life is too important to be retiring and compliant. This is your life and you have a right to competent advice!

What do you do when you don't have any help? You've no family close by, your insurance company is getting the hives from the costs they have to cover. You aren't eligible for any assistance through your state's agencies and the only thing you do have is an agency that allows a Nursing Aide to come to your home twice a month to help you bathe. Twice a month? I think at the end of the two weeks I wouldn't even want to be around myself!!!

Know what? It's real! These things do happen....

So what do we do about it? There isn't much we can do but offer support, and keep searching for some way to get by. It's those LadyAmp's that need us the most! What about a Amputee Support Group in your area? They may know of someone who can volunteer some time inbetween the agency Aide visits? What about Meals on Wheels? They can bring you at least one hot meal a day. Make phone calls, to anyone and everyone you can think of to find the help you need!

Learning To Do Things - Even if you have people at home to help you, you might still feel 'helpless' if there are lots of things you can't do for yourself. After all, you were independent most of your life, you got used to it, and you don't want to stop now.

The best advice that can be offered is to have patience-a lot of it! That will be very hard for you to do. You will become frustrated. You will become angry. You'll cry mountains of tears. But you have to remember that learning to do things for yourself may take some time and struggle, but you will learn. Everyone else has done it and you will too. If you lost an arm, you may have trouble getting your teeth as clean when you brush them as you used to, but brush them anyway. If you lost a leg, you may find it not as easy to get around the kitchen and make your dinner as it used to be, but make your dinner anyway and understand that with every dinner you make it will become easier and faster. You may be stuck in a wheelchair for a while, but learn to do the things you need to do while in it.

If you lost an arm, probably no significant home modifications will be needed. You will learn eventually through talking to other arm amputees, by looking at arm amputee sites on the Internet, by subscribing to the arm amputee list server, and by being creative in your own problem solving that there are ways to do almost everything with one hand if only one is creative and clever. There are many simple things that are available commercially that will make your task easier.

If you have lost both arms, you should hurry to a prosthetist and then, with your hooks, you can learn to do almost everything you did with your hands. There are three things that will enable you to accomplish this. They are patience, patience, and patience.
Next >>>>